Kick the Corpse

Kim and Kris' wedding reported by Zaheera Ismail

2012-01-23T13:45:00.001+02:00

My sister likes to send me retarded bbms while I'm at work for what reason, I don't know.

Zaheera: I watched kim n kris humphries sham wedding
Zaheera: Was so emotional
Kareema: Shame. Did you cry and say they grow up fast
Zaheera: Mummy was crying
Zaheera: When the pressure got to kim after she was looking thru her dead fathers shirts
Zaheera: N then the kamera went in after
Zaheera: N she went into the bathroom to b private
Zaheera: U cud see at first it was hesitant to go in
Kareema: Kardashian spotted 7km from nebwala gate
Zaheera: XD
Zaheera: LOLL
Zaheera: Kardashian spotted 7km from nebwala gate
Zaheera: Kardashian spotted 7km from nebwala gate
Zaheera: Mumy was tearing up
Zaheera: Sniff!
Zaheera: "An nogal real tears!"
Zaheera: They hated each other cos kim wanted the perfect wedding but kris wanted to b in the loop cos he didn't want a marriage where he was in "the passengers seat"
Zaheera: But when they asked him what he wanted he said stuf like
Zaheera: "Burgers on the menu like at the carnival"
Zaheera: And they were all like :&
Zaheera: And then >:/
Zaheera: And he wanted his DOGS to sleep in their BED and Kim was like >:O >:O >:O
Zaheera: And he wanted her to be kim HUMPhries
Zaheera: And she wanted kardashian for business decision and he was like >:O >:O >:O
Zaheera: And he was like KIM WHY U LET PAPARAZZI FOLLOW US
Kareema: Please stop messagin me about Kardashians
Zaheera: And she was like I thought u cud put up with my 'business' n its jus gona get worse
Zaheera: XD
Kareema: Zaheera I can't I cant
Kareema: Putting my phone away
Zaheera: N he was like KIM Y U NO PUMP BABIES WITH ME IN MINNESOTA
Zaheera: N she was like NO HUH UH >:O >:O >:O
Zaheera: Hey don't put ur fone!
Zaheera: Y U NO READ MY MSGS
Zaheera: D:
Kareema: Kim
Zaheera: N at one point that fat one said "I know I'm known as the fat chubby one in this fam"
Zaheera: She was like OMG MINESOTA WTF
Zaheera: He was like KIM Y U NO HUMBLE WHEN U GET SO FAANCY
Zaheera: She was like cos ur house look like a college dorm
Zaheera: He was like KIM U HAD A SHOP THE OTHER DAY Y U WANA BE PRINCESS NOW
Zaheera: N she was like oh no he didn't!
Zaheera: KIM Y U PUT ME PASSENGER SEAT, cos dis every girls drrream.
Zaheera: Before she decided to change her name to HUMPhries her mother thought up sum business ideas for the name instead of kardashian
Zaheera: HUMP perfume
Zaheera: So she came up with HUMP. And kim was like omg wtF :&
Zaheera: The HUMP rope instead of jump
Zaheera: So she's makin fun with those sisters
Zaheera: One says. HUMP perfume. So u kan smel like a NAICE piece o ASSS.
Kareema: Are you done
Zaheera: Kim was like gimme a HUMP rope to HANG myself
Zaheera: Huh uh!
Kareema: Carry on zaheera. See what happens
Zaheera: U get fired.
Kareema: Fine.

15 Movie Questions list

2011-09-09T16:39:00.003+02:00

My first meme. Taken from Waseem

1. Movie you love with a passion.
Elizabethtown but flirting incessantly with Marie Antoinette; both of them for their stunning soundtracks.

2. Movie you vow to never watch.
I haven't done this yet, I'm up for most things.

3. Movie that literally left you speechless.
The 11th Hour

4. Movie you always recommend.
The 11th Hour because it left me speechless

5. Actor/actress you always watch, no matter how crappy the movie.
Kirsten Dunst. Even Drop Dead Gorgeous was enjoyable to me.

6. Actor/actress you don’t get the appeal for.
Mathew McConaughey. He's unattractive with a stupid name.

7. Actor/actress, living or dead, you’d love to meet.
David Boreanaz but from 1998, Buffy's Season 2. Not everyone is treated as well as Paul Rudd is by the years.

8. Sexiest actor/actress you’ve seen.
David Boreanaz (Again, 1998 only)

9. Dream cast.
Kirsten Dunst; she doesn't need co-actors.

10. Favorite actor pairing.
Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore were quite cute, Jonah Hill and Michael Cera are close to my heart, but Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz take it home.

11. Favorite movie setting.
Château de Versailles in Marie Antoinette

12. Favorite decade for movies.
90's.

13. Chick flick or action movie?
Chick Flick unless you can show me an action movie with Kirsten Dunst in it.

14. Hero, villain or anti-hero?
Anti-hero

Red Dead Redemption

2011-08-16T07:31:00.007+02:00

...pushes past Oblivion on my top 10 games of all time across all platforms. (It's the only one on this list that I didn't play on PC) As it stands:

GTA Vice City
Gothic 2
GTA San Andreas
Red Dead Redemption
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
GTA 3
GTA IV
The Sims 2
Quake III Area
Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines
Age of Empires II: Age of Kings (you got ousted sucker.)

Is there life after Red Dead? Maybe I'll aim for 100% completion. I've never actually done that.

Thohira and Muhammad

2011-07-27T14:11:00.004+02:00

Two of my best friends got married this weekend… to each other. I bet you can’t say that. It’s a wonderful thing watching two people you’ve known for so long experience something that you never, ever want to experience again. This, for 2 reasons:

I don’t intend of having a second wedding unless you count me deciding to live vicariously through my hypothetical daughter’s life and wreck her wedding day dreams to spite her.

It’s wonderful because you can sit back, relax and enjoy the fact that it isn’t happening to you this time. I doubt that a wedding is something often described as a horrific folktale that is told to make you feel better about whatever horrible thing is happening in your life. It’s just that I’m not very fond of being the center of attention. I’ve been saying that getting married is horrible compared to being married. Being married is awesome. Getting married requires the wedding and that’s what’s just not really fun to me.

The problem with the way I’m telling Thohira and Muhammad’s story is that they didn’t feel the way I did at all. Waseem described this photo, if you can see it, best when he said to me she looks like the happiest person in the world and if you were there to see them you would agree. I can’t think of 2 people better suited for each other than this pair.

To Thohira and Muhammad: May your Life be Great.

Dare me.

2011-05-19T13:08:00.002+02:00

We should go for coffee

2011-02-11T09:01:00.000+02:00

if you ever blamed irrational behaviour on hormones
if you ever freaked out at the idea of losing your sense of home
if you can't accept the past as being in the past
if you're a jealous possessive bitch
if you'd rather choke and die on your own puke than be someone you're not with the intention of attracting people to you
if you have a big girl crush on Daryl Hannah
if you visibly wince at men who don't have facial hair
if you lose concentration during business meetings and imagine what would actually happen if you burst into song
if you like it dark, bitter and rich but not too hot
if you're not sure whether you're wise in knowing that there's always more to know or you really know nothing

We should go for coffee if you like coffee, know nothing about coffee, but tweet about it.

Paradox

2011-01-06T08:36:00.000+02:00

It was Thohira's birthday yesterday. That got me thinking.

I miss studying logic. We did a semester course in our first and second year called Discrete Structures. It was considered one of the lighter courses and consisted of, to my dismay, no more than 2 1 hour lectures a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) and a 2 hour practical roughly every second Friday. It wasn't significant to many students, but I think I speak for more than one cartoon hero when I say it was by far the most enjoyable course we did.

Lecturers. Mmm.
We spent a considerable amount of time guessing what our lecturer's first name was. His accent was muddled, his approach to teaching was fresh and he started every single lecture by greeting us with a goofy half smile and a, "Morning, guys." All that we were provided with was a "JV van Zyl" which led to us strictly referring to him as "JV". I don't know if it was JV or the content, or the harmonious relationship between the two, but there was something about this course that made computer science feel like something more than just code and assembly. Like there was a philosophy behind all the strict rules, or a logic that, even though its made up of hard and fast rules, it feels less robotic.

Of all the mind numbing oil and canvas (don't tell Zaheera) that we saw in Europe on our tour in June 2010, there was one that's always stuck with me. In the palace of Versailles, in a room called the Grand Cabinet, there was a painting on the ceiling of Mercury scattering the influence of the sciences on the arts (represented by pretty ladies sitting around apparently doing nothing, but probably thinking about life). I like this idea of a healthy balance of left and right brained -ness.

I'd like to think of the coming together of these different schools of thought as poetic. I'd like to use phrases like "you are the yin to my yang" and "I am the Mercury to your Venus or someone" but I won't, simply because it would sound pretentious and I truly believe that the real key to being successful in this life is to know just how much sense of humour to have about every aspect of it. Including love and relationships and all that.

My favourite cartoon hero is the Zen embodiment of the concept I'm trying to illustrate. Thohira is complicated as well as simple. Sensible, but also impulsively crazy. Precise but so random. I have a vivid memory of JV emphasising how, in mathematics but simply means and. This Modus Tollens goes out to you, stups.

Happy birthday, Thohira.

A Magic

2010-12-13T00:09:00.000+02:00

There's a magic in him that he doesn't know about.
That changes the way people are when they're around him.
That makes me someone I like more.
That lightens the heart and the mind and the spirit.
That makes me feel unworthy and undeserving.
That awakens an emotion in me I never knew existed.
That attracts us all to him like bees to honey.
That plays with my hair and tugs my ear before it laughs and disappears.

There's a magic, that when it's gone, you feel it missing like water in the desert.

Praise Allah for this gift because I'm filled with the joy it brings and yet we haven't even begun.

Making you do the wacky

2010-08-18T19:26:00.000+02:00

Love is a force, not a momentum. Love is a means, not an end. Love is the drive to the destination. Love is the road to a place I know nothing about.

Love is the carnal desire to consume and own and conquer. Love is the natural disaster you try to predict and understand and manipulate. Love is the hurt you don't realise you cause. Love is the pain you try to numb. Love is the scream inside your head that you were never meant to silence. Love is the hate you try to deny.

Love is the clarity after too much confusion.
Love is the security after all the uncertainty.
Love is finally being able to drop the masquerade.
Love is a yellow sticky note - plucked to your forehead for everyone to see what a dunce you are.

Love is the Life that's never not Great.

Inspired by conversations with Waseem and Saaj.

When your construction is destructive...

2010-04-25T08:50:00.000+02:00

There was a time when I was made to prove climate change and the general damage to the biosphere of the planet to people. There is a factual side to it: Life on Earth is possible only because a number of parameters lay in certain very narrow ranges. Some of these are clearly environmental. The Earth has just the right temperature and pressure to have lived with water. – Stephen Hawking

There is another way to “prove” this. If you can invoke the right emotions in people you might achieve the same thing. Consider documentaries and products designed to raise awareness about nature conservation. You will notice that emotive words such as “home” instead of “ecosystem” and “birth” instead of “creation” are used. I find this kind of approach a lot more effective. A tool more powerful than human thought seems to be human feeling.

People are by nature opportunistic and selfish. So what does all this have to do with me? What that question asks is “How am I connected to the rest of the broader sense of the word life and the idea of nature?” These scientist guys seem to think we like to separate ourselves from nature; that it is in our culture to believe that we are superior and have been given dominion over other life forms. Maybe it makes us think we are more free and not held down by restrictions.

Whatever it is, this idea of isolation scares me. Little emo teens and pre-teens slitting their wrists behind closed doors don’t scare me. But the concept of not seeing a need to be involved with and give back to and feel connected by the world and all its elements does. Why do we suppress our reflex to feel?

We all have questions about who we are. We try to answer these questions by living life the way society expects us to. We create identities for ourselves as kids all through primary and high school. Then we graduate from universities and start working, at which point we are empowered to do whatever we choose to and we start questioning what it is we actually want. I believe the answer to this question always lies in the spiritual understanding of the self. We cannot separate our understanding of ourselves from our understanding of Him.

Is it just me or are we expected to think a lot more than we are expected to feel? In fact, thinking doesn’t even seem that important any more. Information is fed to us. RSS feeds, twitter, TV and Youtube is proof of this. Does this mean that we regard our experience of things, and in effect, our feelings about them, as irrelevant for the purpose of learning?

When we visit the mountains, when we sit by the river, when we gaze out at the stars, we feel more than we think don’t we? Don’t we feel a power we know we will never fully understand? Why don’t we feel like a part of the evidence of that power?

Feeling a seamlessness with the biosphere we live in is respecting the balance and all other forms of life, it’s feeling an intrinsic connection with the people we grow to love, it’s feeling a connection to God which, I believe will answer all our questions. I believe that the solution to so many of our problems lies in understanding the feelings within us that inspire the thought to drive the necessary change. The reason it has the power to inspire is because we all feel, on some level that the world we live in is a part of us. I want us to feel so much more.

Your Rocky Spine by Great Lake Swimmers inspired this.
With your soft fingers between my claws
Like purity against resolve
I could tell then, there, we were formed from the clay
And came from the rocks for the earth to display
They told me to be careful up there
Where the wind blows a venomous rage through your hair

Googling One's Self Can Be Dangerous

2010-03-24T23:34:00.000+02:00

Concerning Spontaneity

2010-03-05T00:18:00.000+02:00

I've never enjoyed anyone's writing like I enjoy my sister's. She has the ability to write down feelings so that when you read it 10 years later, you're time travelling. Her writing has such an effect on me that the words hang around in my brain long afterward. Today the foremost words are, "We were brought up to understand that little girls should be at home at the time of Maghrib." Today while Maghrib adhaan was called back home, I was driving at 130km/h on a road that Daddy told me not to take.

Growing up is hard. Change has never been easy for me. Throw me into the deep end and I'll just get out of the pool. Given, enough time though, I even suprise myself. I know they say that people are intrepid and have an inexplicable ability to carry on, that norms are relative and all that, but in my case, if it's gradual enough, I could get comfortable with anything. To name a few such horrible things: friendships that are selfish, romances that make you feel inadequate, php, etc.
It's for this reason that I don't trust my own judgement. It could very easily be the case that the only reason I think something is a good idea is because I was given enough time to get used to the idea.

The point I'm trying to get to is that there has been exactly 1 big plunge I've taken in my life where I didn't get "cold feet" and jump out of the pool. It must be said that the person who pushed me was my father, who I've come to learn, knows what's best for me. If I hadn't started working at that exact time, I would've studied more. And who knows when that would've ended?

Today, I love my job and I think of it as the best decision I've made yet.

The thing about taking a plunge is that you'll know immediately whether it's good or bad. It's like nikkah. Someone recently said to me that the more you drag it out, the less blessing it has. And it's true. Because in my case, I would just be getting used to something that could be ok or really crap.

Take the plunge, people. Life is great.

Survival and Spirituality

2010-01-27T11:00:00.000+02:00

Melancholy
Everyone should feel it.
Honesty
Everyone should try it.
Faith
Everyone should have it.
Travel
Everyone should do it...

whether you want to or not
with whoever you can
to wherever you can

Because all life is a journey and a lesson and a test
because life is great, dude.

And I want to pass.

Soul for Sale

2010-01-07T07:14:00.000+02:00

Kareema's guide to Twitter and Rule Engines

2009-08-27T11:58:00.000+02:00

Rules.
Constraints.

These are the things that make Twitter mainly attractive to the more intelligent portion of the human race. Unfortunately, we're not the only ones attracted to it. There will always be those who are in it for the sake of Gareth and Ashton. Filter these idiots out and Twitter would be close to a haven for people who love social networking within the borders of the kind of rules and constraints which make things work... a harmonious and fully searchable collection of information about what people are doing, whom it concerns complete with key words in no more than 140 characters. Fuss-free. Bliss.

I've come to realise that such rules are exactly what I need in a job. At the moment, I come to work everyday and develop software in a way that I choose. There are no rules constraining me. No one questions my methods because no one else knows any methods to begin with. Everything is relaxed and awesome. Except that my so-called methods suck and I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm still a noob in the guild of software development and in this particular guild hall I'm not getting any more experience points. I really need to level-up...

That's why I'll be back with whom I consider the real Guild Masters next week Thursday. Cyest. Hello again to early nights and early mornings.
Cyest's Luke the Skywalker once told me that the way I understand things is like that of a rule engine. I was slightly insulted by this at the time, because all I heard was that I think in an uninnovative robotic way, but it seems to happen more often than not that the wisdom of the more experienced only hits your head at a later level.

Speaking of how rules are awesome if you treat them in the right way, and how it seems to be my turn in the circle to blog about how fasting rocks, Ramadaan Kareem to everyone. Fasting and trying to abstain from all things otherwise enjoyable has offered me the opportunity to... well, in all honesty code better. :(
If you want to get the best coding experience, what never fails to work is all drink (because for some reason, needing to urinate increases typing speed) and no food (because that's makes you warm and fuzzy and you need to be cold and edgy to come up with solutions).

To summarise how Twitter should be treated, this happened a few days ago and it should be said here and now that no matter how much of a moron he is, I still love him.

Warren: hey
on twitter
can i ryt on your "wall"
Kareema: no
you tweet.
you send out messages
some of them have hash tags
so people looking for certain topics will find them
example
#weather its hot today.
-hash tag
some of them are directed at people
or multiple people
example
@taineechan dont you think @warrenblake is a moron

The CorpseKicker on Twitter

Gym ennet

2009-05-25T08:13:00.000+02:00

I have a lot of theories about my new gym but I'll just share one. Yes, I've joined a gym. So what?
The reason that I feel obliged to defend my decision to join a Virgin Active is because I feel like such a... consumer. You know, with all the "Tell yourself that you've still got it!" posters.

My sister thinks they put steroids in the water to make people want to gym more, but this doesn't seem likely. They've already got you paying out your ass for a whole year at minimum so whether you like gymming or not isn't relevant to them. (If you disbelieve the posters of course.)

Here's how my theory was formed. This morning I walked in and the nice lady at the reception desk says to me, "There's no hot water, ne?". Some people never know quite how to answer this because it sounds like a question but doesn't expect an answer and usually the content is unanswerable because it's actually providing the listener with extra information and not asking anything at all. Anyway I can show you how to answer it so you know how to in future: "Oh." After musing a bit about the tone of nice lady's voice I realised what she had just said. And then I thought I might add something else to my "Oh": "But it's so cold :(" I didn't get another response.

Getting back to my theory now. This wasn't the first issue I've encountered about the water. Everyone drinks water while, before and after they work out. Everyone needs it. That's why all Virgin Active clubs have these fancy drinking fountains at strategic locations around the gym. Nobody uses them at my club though. And that's because it tastes like crap. I have a shower and I feel like I need to take another one because by hands and neck smell like chlorine.
This makes me not want to shower. I only do because I'd rather die than go to work covered in sweat. I'm a hobo but at least I'm conscious of BO. Apparently there are a lot of other ladies who don't have the same concerns that I do.

Now what do I make of this? Well, clearly, water is an expensive commodity. Too expensive to allow club members to drink and clean with. Making it taste and smell like chloroform wasn't effective enough to repel people from it, so they made it cold and it looks like that did the trick!

In other news,

June is going to be a great month:
- 1st - Quraysh's non-birthday
- 2nd - My Quarterly Performance Review; The Sims 3 gets released
- 16th - National Youth day

Twitter is awesome: http://twitter.com/corpsekicker

My Lips Are Evil

2008-11-10T07:57:00.009+02:00

The first thing I didn't allow myself to call a relationship taught me to not do this. I don't really any more. Unfortunately blogs have become a means for self indulgent individuals such as myself to muse. It's a small treat, so muse I shall.

My parents made juice for breakfast yesterday. Carrot and pear. It smells. When it was done my mother poured it into individual drinking glasses using a jug with a faulty lip. It messed stinky juice all over the table. It made me wonder what people would be like if they didn't have any lips.

The problem with the world today seems to be people. Our earth is dying because we like to play with it and not give back to it.

We buy big fat Hummers with money we don't have because showing our neighbours and colleagues that we earn more than them is worth the drive to work (or a trip to the grocery store, for the yummy mummies) in the most impractical vehicle possible. My friends at "FUH2" call it "the ultimate poseur vehicle" and I agree. I would like to have one - in a life where my universe was a vacuum and where there were no other living organisms. I like big things and I understand the appeal of destructive power. But I don't like showing off and I just happen to like Earth.

We use whatever we want, however we want. Chytridiomycosis is a great word. Try saying it 3 times and then when you're done with that, say Pregnancy Test. "In the 1930s, African frogs were exported for use in human pregnancy tests and it is suggested they may have carried a fungal disease with them." Gross. Why not make our lives easier by destroying everything in our path?

I'll TELL you why. It's because we have LIPS. Here's my musing. What if human beings had no lips? Imagine how less sexy we'd be. We'd talk funny - only if it were necessary (eliminate the problem of bullshit). We'd eat funny - only if we were
actually hungry (eliminating the problems of obesity and over-indulgence). We'd have less sex - because we would be less sexy? This is a gray one but picture someone with no lips and you'll know what I mean. (I suggest less over-indulgence and over population.)
I suppose we'd be lacking as a species. Not to mention a far less interesting one. We may even be less able, like the dodo that got too fat to fly. But maybe that's an okay compromise, seeing as how our ethically conscious minds aren't enough to help us make decisions which would take other species into consideration anyway.

I'm not a prude, but I do think we enjoy life a little too much. It would be nice if the whole world exercised some abstinence. Even if the purpose was simply to be able to appreciate life's joys. The whole world should fast next Ramadhaan.

And FFS sell your fat ugly petrol guzzler.

The 229th day of 2008

2008-08-17T08:39:00.003+02:00

My tribute to trivia: just a thought.
Am I the only one who has noticed how significant this day was?

Laylat ul Bara'ah - Laylat ul Bara'ah is Arabic for "the Night of Freedom from Fire." It occurs on the night between the 14th and 15th of Sha'ban. It is considered a night when Muslims are graced with Divine Mercy and blessings. The night is spent in the recitation of the Qur'an and special prayers as well as visiting the deceased. (Thanks, Wikipedia.)

Raksha Bandhan - a festival celebrated mainly in northern Indian states. Rakhi is a special occasion to celebrate the chaste bond of love between a brother and a sister. (I'm not sure about this one but thanks again, Wikipedia.)

Madonna's Birthday - the queen of Pop reaches her half century. Ew, but still significant to a lot of people.

Anniversary of the Death of Elvis Presley - 31 years ago The King died naked, fallen off his toilet in a pool of his own vomit. This was the same year Madonna apparently left some or other university to pursue her dance career. God forgive us.

Lunar Eclipse - I missed it :(

Anyone want to add to this list?
For a longer more boring one visit this page. Thanks again Wikipedia.

Geeks Belong Somewhere

2008-07-21T17:38:00.004+02:00

Something made me log into my long lost Tickle account on Sunday morning. My profile is proof that I once believed that

I don't suck.
I think pets are in my box of things I want but can never have.
My most over-used phrase is MY word.
The perfect pizza is Chicken and Mushroom. EXTRA Mushroom!
My first thought when I wake up is [Regarding my alarm clock] What the hell is that sound and why does it feel like it's supposed to be telling me something?
and My favorite memory is the 24th of March 2005: A day that epitomised the pure fresh freedom of my first year of university.

That last one still holds. Nothing better has happened since. Nothing Bloggable.

Like most things perfect, student life is temporary. I remember the 24th of March. I remember the moment I decided it was a perfect day. I was alone. None of the people I sometimes associate that perfection with were around. There was bird shit all around my feet, a canopy of purple-blue blossoms over my head and inside it, equations, logic puzzles and Java Essentials. Perfection.
One of the aforementioned people, Nicole, had her 21st birthday last week and celebrated it by inviting a selection of unsociable people to her house to eat, drink, talk and do other sorts of social things. This might seem like a futile effort, but somehow it worked. It might've just been the trampoline she strategically placed right outside her house or the promise of free food, but for me it felt like I was a student for a night again. My feet were covered in bird shit again instead of tight black leather boots I can't move in. Conversations were about things I liked talking about and not bullshit to fill up an awkward moment with people you have to see, rather than want to see.

If perfecton is temporary, is going back to do my honours kind of like kicking a corpse?

AU

2008-06-09T15:28:00.006+02:00

In 2004 our domestic worker ended her own life by jumping in a river on her way to work. I don't talk about it; I don't even think about it.
She left behind 3 children, each of whom are roughly the same age as my two sisters and I. It's because of this that I've always thought of them as the other side. The people we could easily have been, if our circumstances were different. They call my dad from time to time, asking for advice and help. This happened the other day and it was the second eldest daughter who called and it was I who answered.

Can you imagine? I touched a parallel universe. My doppelganger started an internet cafe close to her house with my old Pentium 2. That's how she grew up. I think I'm still waiting for it to happen... all the while complaining about the inconvenience of waking up at 4 to do my job in all the comforts it comes packaged in. It makes me wonder how well someone like her would do in my position.

Irony of the Day:
Nearly capsized my car today on Katherine Street because a large bilboard about car insurance distracted me. It read, "BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT?"

Out of the Box

2008-03-15T10:53:00.005+02:00

It’s that time of the month again.
No, dumbass, not that time, Driver’s License Day!
Martha was angry when my signature touched the line of the box at the Centurion Testing Station at about 11:54 yesterday. As I signed, I thought of Muhammad and “Eye of the Tiger”, Shakira, her cake and the adventures of Philemon and Thohira. She clicked her tongue and gave me an eye that made me wonder whether she’s allowed to change her mind at this point about passing me.
It started with Martha introducing herself and saying, "You betta not be nevess if you are so desprrit to get your license. Shoo! Four fails! Ay, ay ay..."
Psh.
I obeyed the laws of every single box yesterday. Had some Biral, made sure my chin passed my goddamn shoulder at every single blindspot, pulled up my handbrake at a stop street where the road was clearly as flat as my hair on a project demo day - all that shit. Can I forget about it now?
It ended with a thumbprint and a realisation that I’ve been silently angry for really long and it was finally over.

Observe this, losers > _|_ .....

I’ve had three weeks of working already. Can I put it on my CV yet? Does it count as company disloyalty if I say the first week was terrifying? Am I allowed to go to the bathroom whenever I want or do I have to ask my boss first? This is going to need some getting used to. Not to mention that half of your life is spent in a car. What would we do without radio? There isn’t any Circle to fall back on when things start to suck at work - not that it has, there aren’t any Jacarandas lining the building to look out at, no pawiljoen to park on and fry your brain, but it’s true that you learn more in your first three weeks than you have in all your three years at university.

It's not full of weird and wonderful people; the CS department at Tuks was a gold mine in that sense. Maybe I'll have to let go of that. I don't know if I'll find that satisfaction again. Everyone at Cyest is a rockstar at something or other, though. That’s awesome. You just have to open your month and solutions appear. Not just a "here’s how you do it but a "here’s a good way, what do you think?" kind of thing. The occasional visit from the Skywalker and his wise words, if it happens, is usually the highlight of the day. Not that working with my own boss is a treat and flatter in itself. Rockstar software architects are just as impressive.
Most people are still kind of nameless and only speak when they have something to say about work and most of the time this is ok, but some human contact would be nice :/
I suppose work is one of those places where a certain kind of masquerade is a necessity. Something I’ve always had trouble with. Whatever, I’ll get there.

Esteban

2008-02-10T01:00:00.001+02:00

There used to be a guy with a *HAPPY* expression and cowboy hat on all the billboards you would see all over Gauteng. I don't actually know if they're still around but that would just make it weirder. One that was particularly haunting was the one right across from the main entrance of Tuks campus, at the Pretoria East Primary School. Can someone PLEEEASE help me and Alula out? Esteban, as what he has come to be known between us remains a mystery. What is he advertising? Is he someone famous? WHO IS HE?
I thought I had a revelation today while I was listening to Neil Young music (yeah, I know), but alas, it was but hopeful thinking. I shared this with Alula and now I'm going to share it with you. However, any questions concerning why exactly we speak on Windows Live Messenger, when we are in fact next door to each other in physical space - will be dismissed.

Kareema : EY
Kareema :OMG
{several nudges}
Zaheera :WHAT
Zaheera :WHAAAAAAAT
Zaheera :GOD
Kareema :YOU KNOW THAT UNNAMED MAN WE SEE EVERYWHERE
Kareema :WITH THE FUGGIN COWBOY HAT
Kareema :AND THE SMILE
Kareema :???
Zaheera :???????
Zaheera :YA
Zaheera :did you meet him?
Zaheera :lol
Kareema :waiT
Kareema :this is not the time to play
Kareema :its
Kareema :its
Kareema :its
Kareema :its
Zaheera :???????????????????????????????????
Zaheera :WHAT
Kareema :neil young.
Kareema :http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/6/8/0/3/9143086-9143088-large.jpg
Zaheera :HAAAAAAAAAAA
Zaheera :OMG
Zaheera :NEIL
Zaheera :NEIL
Kareema :look at him
Kareema :those
Zaheera :SIS
Kareema :MESMERISING EYES
Zaheera :no
Zaheera :thats not him!
Zaheera :>_<>_<>_<>_<>_< um="1&hl="en&cr="countryZA&q="esteban+billboard&btnG="Search+Images">_<

Help us out?

Sign in the Box

2008-01-14T06:17:00.001+02:00

A good friend of mine, best known for taking credit of other people’s work and giving out random bursts of profound wisdom; the likes of which no normal unintoxicated person would’ve thought of – often unexpectedly shouts out the very slogan of this blog: LIFE IS GREAT... and it’s true! So I don’t stop him.

The first time I failed my driver’s test I made a diary entry that went a bit like, "Everything sucks... blah, blah." The second time I failed it was more "Ya, it happened again whatever."

The third time, however, was today. Today I saw Muhammad with Fatima on the road and wondered out loud like the psycho patient I am whether he’ll notice that my hair was pulled back to an obscene amount and realise I’m off to Waltloo Testing Station. Yip, I was one of those people who didn’t tell anyone about the test even though they asked over and over again. Anyway, the rest of the day went driving the same routes until I saw good ol’ Philemon come out of that Apartheid style building with my sister. Remember him, Thohira? Yes, the very same one - EXACTLY as you had described.

Philemon failed both of us. Let’s not get into a post mortem about the test. Needless to say, I bitterly regretted making fun of Philemon all through second and third year for Thohira’s sake. :(

So no, I didn’t get to sign in the box. And no, I’m not particularly fond of signing in boxes either. What’s the point really?

SO. Is life still great?

Kareema’s step-by-step guide to third year Computer Science projects

2007-11-14T06:45:00.001+02:00

SOFTWARE ENGINEERING

Form a group.

You’re probably going to attempt choosing your friends as team members. There’s nothing I can do to help you avoid this. Just learn the hard way, sucker.
Make sure you have at least one multimedia student, they work their asses off and don’t get the recognition they deserve - rocking in the realms of prettiness and cleverness (coding or anything else). Plus they have the creative intuition you will be sure to lack if you’re a BSc Computer Science. It won’t hurt if your multimedia student is Gree-, I mean Cypriot. This will ensure cultural diversity leading to many a controversial interesting conversation while you’re supposed to be working.
You know that guy you’ve seen in all your classes since first year, but have never spoken to? I recommend you offer him to join you. He’s a good coder, I promise. I won’t even begin to talk about his pristine articulacy.
Bear in mind the “documentation is for the ladies” rule and look out for self righteous girls who enjoy coding.

Choose a project

You’re all going to want different projects, so stop being an idiot and just choose the one offered by the Polelo Research group. They’re cooler. Plus you’ll get to meet EEEEZRRAAAAA! and a certain Wojcik who’ll incidentally be marking your documentation.
Go meet your client often to suck up so that at the end of the year they’ll give you good marks. Don’t forget to make the appropriate “oohs” and “aahs” when looking at their holiday photos.
The first demo will probably suck because your approach to a demo is probably going to be different for each member. Not to mention, you’re suddenly going to stop answering the evaluator’s questions and start wondering what the purpose of meaning is. Don’t worry about this. It’ll get better.

Cut your losses

"...to stop wasting time or money (or faith in) on something by ending your connection to it." – taken from The Free Dictionary dot com
You know what this means don’t you?
Try your best to do this before said LOSS talks to the lecturer about how pathetic the team is before deserting the rest of you.
Kick its hairy little ugly ass if you can too.
Once you take care of this (business, boy!), demos will be a lot easier.

Get your act together

Stop messing around and start working!!! That forming storming norming shmorming whatever kak is kind of true, despite your sincere passionate hatred toward anyone who attempts to create a science of group projects and their dynamics.
Start rounding up. Impossible, I know.
Declare a Compliments Day and flatter your fellow team members for no reason whatsoever.

Project Fair Day

Listen to all that Jazz on the ProjectFairInstructions.doc. It helps.
It would help to learn how to bullshit before this day. Perhaps you’ll pick up a tip or two from the other demos.
Perhaps not :/
Take lots of photos. This day is going to stay with you for a long time.
Diss anyone who offers you a job just for fun. ESPECIALLY if they mention the fact that you’re non-white. Then go hug your team members.
Bring water and lip gloss; you’re going to get sick of telling everyone the same shit.
Watch everyone else get awards, go home, eat ice cream and kiss 301 goodbye forever.
Don’t ever forget your team members. It was fun while it lasted wasn’t it?

Good Luck!
Love Karee :)

Coffee & Google

2007-08-21T09:10:00.000+02:00

That's what it's all about these days. The Gzzt is no longer something I do to thrill myself and laugh at how my hand can't stay still. It's become a necessity.

Like... the feeling of the sun burning your skin while sitting on cement blocks so cold, you're nearly positive your ass will stay there when you finally surrender to the freezing shade that's been haunting you all day and just... go back to Polelo (hello! {oh, i kill myself :D}) and try not to ignore the fact that project fair day is around the corner.

Like... Human contact. No matter how much you try and deny it.

The truth is those Jacarandas that line the Geography building are still yellow-green and I realise somewhere in between the OMGOMGOMGTHERE'SSOMUCHTOWORRYABOUT that I never took the time to take note of exactly when in the year they go purple.
AND!
If I'm lucky I'll be gone soon and won't have to wonder about it even if I wanted to. Of course, it's not that I have to right now but I've always been a dramatic emo sap.

WHAT??

Stop judging me. I mean, why are you even reading this? Are you on a sugar high or something?

Thanks Alot.

2007-07-20T09:34:00.000+02:00

The University of Blogging

Presents to
Kareema Ismail

An Honorary
Bachelor of
Attention Seeking

Majoring in
Non Sequiturs

Signed
Dr. GoQuiz.com

Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com

Hmm hehe lol omg yeah haha

2007-07-01T01:33:00.000+02:00

Beware these words, fellow texters. If it’s all you’re getting, you’re doing something WRONG! Set your status to “Appear Offline” and get some sleep, we all know you never sign out.
So this is the July Recess, huh? Why do they call it a recess if you’re still going to campus everyday, playing Scattered in the Polelo Research Lab huh? Yeah the third year software engineering project kind of blows. I shouldn’t complain. Enrichment or something… I’ll find a justification for it sooner or later.
It snowed the other day here? Snow. Pfff. If you can call slight sleet snow. Hehe. Slight sleet snow. Oh, I crack me up.

Ahem sorry about that. Anyway I’ve been thinking a lot about Muhammad’s slightly disturbing obsession with the concept of nothing, and indulged shamelessly in it this July Recess. I haven’t found the purpose of meaning yet. But I suppose it gave me the chance to discover a few treasures. People and other things.

Facebook. I’m SO not commenting on this one. *evil facebook whores. All, ALL of them!!!*

Rock from the 60’s and 70’s, compliments of a certain happy texter we won’t mention.

Led Zeppelin to quote said Happy Texter, “to be a rock and not to rolll..”

Santa Baby, originally performed and recorded by Eartha Kitt, not Marilyn Monroe, a common misconception – been stuck in my head for a while now.

Urban Dictionary. OMW! I’m a bit irritated with how people give stupid definitions of their own names and their girlfriend’s. Imagine the possibilities. And I won’t even get started on the ones that can’t even speak English but want to define stuff. Have to admit though. It can be fun looking up your own and friend’s names. For example.

Tomb Raider Anniversary Nice. Speaking of which, Lara Croft has a new model, whose name is Karima Adebibe. (Point of interest, for ME anyway) Apparently her head looks too small for her body, but we won’t go into that.

I kicked AI’s ass. Ok maybe I prodded it a little. But I passed! And it was fun.

30 seconds and family go together. *grin*

“Buh-bum.. buh-bum...”
Pfff.

Cyanide and Happiness

2007-06-05T07:27:00.000+02:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Networking

2007-05-28T05:28:00.000+02:00

I left my cell phone in the grey lab the other day. But this is not how this story will be told.
It was a usually horrible day on campus, filled with the traditional stress, contempt of absolutely everything and general lack of social life. Our networking project was due the next day and considering networking has been our absolute worst subject all year, things were pretty tense. This, naturally, was good enough reason for us to promptly give up and choose a place to eat at lunch time instead of prioritising our lives and postponing lunch. Coffee at Burgundy’s on campus serves a cheap horrific margherita pizza and the place is frequented by lecturers who have somehow forgotten that one lowers ones voice when indoors. But as we all should know by now, I don’t mind weird lecturers. Burgundy’s was getting to me somehow. “Coffee at Burgundy’s is a unique upmarket licensed casual Restaurant aimed at all sectors of the public and has captured the market.” Yeah sure. Maybe at every single other branch except the damn University of Pretoria one. Gosh it sucks. It looks like some cheap hotel in New Orleans in a bad supposedly smutty romance movie with blotchy British actors. The kind that you watch on a rainy night because there’s nothing else on and your heater’s broken and your skin is itching. Anyway we order the horrific pizza (I’m not complaining though, I didn’t pay) and ice cold water (oh my word, only university students can ask for ice cold water in this weather) and we’re tucking in when Thohira gets this phone call. It’s Zak, my sister’s best friend. Why on earth is Zak phoning Thohira? Thohira is giving me this incredulous look and I’m wondering if maybe someone is dead. She pointedly tells Muhammad and not me to take this number down because I don’t have a phone. What the hell? It’s only then when I realise I don’t in fact have it any more. Somehow my network rose up to contact me and the sad news about that pathetic 3310 did eventually get to me. So the list of people that were involved grew and grew throughout the day. Roughly it goes that William picked it up in the grey lab, called Ebrahim who contacted Shakira who called Andrea (some person I don’t know) who called Michelle who told Farah who called Saaj who called Zak who called Thohira who, yelled and laughed shamelessly at poor me. Then I picked it up from the Joyce, the secretary on the 17th floor of the HSB who told me some random Chinese person was trying to call. I stopped caring about failing Networking that day. I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank all these people, whether I know them or not.

Our Lady Peace

2007-05-15T03:37:00.000+02:00

Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous

Spends his time alone

In the basement

With Lennon and Cobain

A guitar and a stereo

While he wishes he Could escape this

It all seems so contagious

Not to be yourself and faceless

In a song that has no soul

I remember feeling low

I remember losing hope

I remember all the feelings

And the day they stopped

We are, We are all innocent, we are all innocent

We are, we are, we are

We are all innocent, we are all innocent

We are, we are...

Oh, Tina’s losing faith in what she knows

Hates her music Hates all of her clothes

Thinks of surgery

And a new nose

Every calorie is a war

While she wishes she Was a dancer

And that she'd never Heard of cancer

She wishes God would give her

Some answers

And make her feel beautiful

One day

You'll have to let it go,

One day You'll stand up on your own, you'll stand up on your own

Remember losing hope, Remember feeling low, Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped

We are, We are all innocent, we are all innocent

We are, we are, we are, We are all innocent,

we are all innocent

We are, we are...

Stuff I don't mind so much

2007-04-27T11:09:00.000+02:00

I hate a lot of stuff. But you don't see me abusing the Internet by bitching and moaning about it all my life, do you? Have you noticed how that's a newly emerging trend? Seriously, you can't just go around saying,
"I hate:

short insecure men
people who spell wrong and still act clever
people who blog
people who bitch and moan on the Internet
people who are artificial
the pussycat dolls
COS 332
bollywood
AIDS
fuss

I think I'll start a website! Or maybe a blog!"

We all hate people. Most of the human race sucks, yes, but wasn't the idea to ignore this and act like everything is ok and normal so that we can suppress our emotions and carry on living? I mean haven't you people heard? It's all about the masquerade now. The only reason you smile at some people is to get through the moment. The moment's over soon. Then afterward you wonder... was it a moment at all? You weren't yourself, you were some plastic mask smiling at someone you'd rather do something much else to. It wasn't real. So does that mean it's only real when you go and blog and bitch and moan? I hate the expression "letting yourself go" but that's what it is, isn't it?
Hmm.. I change my mind. Anonymity is a great gift given to us by the Geeks that Be. People do suck.

Organic Condensation

2007-03-13T02:22:00.000+02:00

I would say, in my extreme non-climatologist, obscenely uninformed opinion, that it’s Autumn. I didn’t form this opinion by observing the colour of the leaves, or the falling or absence thereof. It wasn’t even a subconscious note in the change of temperature. I’ve decided it’s Autumn because of unsavoury current events in a little World called Laudium. For a minute there, I’m 14 again and sitting at various social events that make me think of words like, “isolated,” “anti-nostalgic,” and for some strange reason, “dementor.” It’s a bit odd to think that my personality has this annoying tendency to insist on pretending to be social the same time every year. The outcome is always the same, so why the hell doesn’t it learn? There are these beings, who, despite the fact that it is impossible to relate to them on any human grounds, have the ability to suck your soul from your body. (Aaah, ok… “dementor”!)
I’m 19 and there it goes this year again so jaap… it’s Autumn!
And alright, they’re pretty but let’s face it, plastic is bad for our planet, people! Honestly, is there anything more disgusting than useless unintelligent synthetic material which simply refuses to decompose… even way after it’s served its purpose? I’m not bitching or moaning or being all bitter. I’m just saying. It’s Autumn, damnit! and it’s… odd ;)

H2

2007-03-12T08:24:00.000+02:00

Too bad fluorescent pink isn't orange.

Not H2

2007-03-12T08:14:00.000+02:00

When I'm big... Refer to Taarness

Engel and I

2007-03-08T08:44:00.000+02:00

Lecturers are the best. Does anyone ever wonder what happened to these people? And are they only eccentric in the computer science department or everywhere? It’s kind of great, actually. You never have to face the real world if you’re a lecturer. You finish your studies and then you can just hover there and pretend to continue your student life, haunting the corridors and halls that once was your territory and is now just your… haunt. They always say the world of academics is a world of its own, and I sometimes wonder if I want to get my degree and then bugger off or become a shell of my future former student self.

Why Ribs?

2007-02-23T11:19:00.000+02:00

Because it takes long, you half-witt.

Jagged Little Pill's Track 10

2007-02-23T00:52:00.000+02:00

A most entertaining and hilarious thing happened concerning a certain addition to the blog cirlce. Irony was redefined as An Untold Fairytale instantly died a tragic death. It's pure greatness when you create some web account you solemnly intend to devote yourself to and you thoroughly embarrass yourself (but don't tell anyone, of course) by forgetting the password. It made me laugh for quite a while when I heard about it before I realised how coincidental it was that the name of this hypothetical blog was "Death of an Untold Fairytale."
For once, it wasn't so appropriate to use "funny" as a synonym for "ironic". I just blinked and thought about it.

It will henceforth be dead and untouchable but still readable.
You can laugh, it's ok.

OJ

2006-11-03T20:07:00.000+02:00

I wrote an exam on concurrency this morning and straight after that we went to La Pat to enjoy a tall {nice and cool!} glass of fresh ice cold OJ.

I remember reading somewhere that there’s nothing like the taste of a good strong shot of orange juice to wash the taste of slack-jawed idiot out of your mouth. It’s amazing how citrus has that effect. And the best part is that it works! Try it. Next time you fail a module flat on your face, have some OJ. Next time you embarrass yourself so badly, you hope the earth will swallow you up from beneath you, have some OJ. Next time you find yourself having sat programming at a PC for 5 hours looking for a bug which turned out to be a missing semi-colon, have some OJ. Next time you leave the TV remote control in the bathroom after a quick trip there, have some OJ.

Really. It just makes everything better again. It might have something to do with the brutal sensation of slick sour goodness slicing down your throat. Like it’s a kind of punishment you give yourself but a treat at the same time. We don’t care. All we know is OJ makes life great.

Insert unworthy title here

2006-10-31T21:27:00.000+02:00

Run to the water
and find me there
burnt to the core but not broken
we'll cut through the madness
of these streets below the moon
these streets below the moon

and I will never leave you
'til we can say, ‘this world was just a dream
we were sleepin' now we are awake’
'til we can say

in a moment we lost our minds here
and dreamt the world was round
a million mile fall from grace
thank God we missed the ground

Big Concerts present
Live – Black Mountain, White Light World Tour
Live was frickin amazing. I now know what they mean when they say you can record how much you want to but you can never capture that energy. I can rant and rave forever about how amazing the experience was but I can’t ever reproject the feeling and the goosebumps and the tingles and the “Oh my God, it’s Ed Kawalczyk!!” I can look at our photos and videos all night long but it will never be just enough.
Is there anything like a rock concert? There’s the chick in front of you offering you some of her drink. There’s the gay guy next to you spitting all over you and cursing the guy who warns him through a loud speaker to put “that damn cigarette out NOW.” There’s the fact that you spent all day trying to get your hair right and you got there and it rained! There’s your little sister standing over you screaming things you’ll try your best never to hear from her again…

But then there’s the people you came here with, in some cases the people you came here because of. Knowing you’re embarrassing yourself thoroughly in front of people you usually try your best to act decent and well brought up around. Knowing absolutely anything can happen tonight because there’s a feeling of eternity in the air you can almost taste.
<<This night will never end>>
There’s the vague memory of Ed saying how they feel about water in an interview, how Live has it in every one of their videos, how queen_lestat (my personal gateway to the Great Bliss that is Live) referred to the night as something very witty she'll hopefully blog about, the unimaginable performance of Lightning Crashes.
There’s the crowd all around you and inside you and everywhere living the experience right along there with you with one voice and one spirit and one heart and one thought: “THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT I’M GOING TO HAVE IN A DAMN LONG TIME!!!!!!!”

You are not getting Sleepy

2006-10-21T21:01:00.000+02:00

Remember that Blur song, Coffee and TV? I miss sleeping. I think there was a time I actually used to like it. "...I'm going blind and I'm brain dead virtually."
You don't need to sleep too much to be able to do this. I think it's safe to say when you stop "saying stuff" and prefer to refer to it as "hearing yourself say stuff," things are looking pretty bad.

A Little Tribute

2006-10-17T14:01:00.002+02:00

This morning after sehri, (meal before sunrise in preparation of a fasting day) I couldn't sleep so I created this little guy. Do pay attention to the fine detail used in his design. He's holding a chainsaw for a reason. He's got a black eye and stitches on his face for a reason too. I don't know why he's so dirty though. (I can only think to blame it on the way he was raised...) Like the rest of us, computer science is kicking this little fella's ass. You see that bored expression on his face? That's him getting used to the kicking. You see the gear he's wearing? That's proof of how he yearns for the life he had before the void. But it's over, boy!!!! NyAHAHAHAHAHAH....!

The thing is, this cutey is based on someone who actually exists. Somebody who is decidedly less cute. (Decidedly because he thinks he is. NyAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!)

Anyway, but only because the child my own mother raised occasionally likes to interfere in my life, I think this picture deserves an apology. How could I possibly have the nerve to add another personality to this sad little man's collection of many. Seriously, it's not even funny.

I think I made him because said someone really makes CS a little more fun than it actually is. But not just worth it. So brush up, dude, I know you're reading this!!

Information Ethics

2006-09-22T22:52:00.000+02:00

I got a couple of revelations today. I finally got my answer. Now I know why I studied Information Ethics. Because when you get accused of copying in one silly little class test (it, being the second revelation) by somebody with absolutely no ethics, with absolutely no hard evidence or substantial proof, you need to know the friggin definition of fancy shmancy words like, “defamation” and “hate speech” and “plagiarism” and more importantly, what they all entail. I love the computer science department at my university, but when they screw you over like this, it makes me <FOURIE-US>. What could possibly be worse? My favourite professor, the very one who presented me with my first year award, the one who introduced me to computer science, and made me decide that it was what I wanted to do, the one who made me feel I could keep going when computer science started looking like a very severe matriarchal type of woman thinks I’m a cheater. Now I have to present my cheating face to him and explain how come the Cartoon Heroes have carbon copy scripts. Because, you know, they study together, they go for lectures together, they do their pracs together, so of course it’s completely rational to assume it’s because they copied and thereby imply that they are devoid of ethics, integrity and the basic human dignity ones parents are supposed to inculcate in them as children. Remember in Desperate Housewives how Bree taught Andrew the concept of shame? Exactly like that.

How much more could we have been insulted??

And it’s all thanks to some idiot who clearly believes he has an eye for spotting patterns (a rare gift awarded only to a select few of us) by realising two scripts look exactly the same purely because the one was right on top of the other. I would hate to sound as if I’m arguing from the wrong point of view, but really, what kind of a brainless fool copies from someone word for word, and then as if that wasn’t enough to get Idiot of the Year Award, still hands in at the same time as them?

Tsk, tsk…

The mushrooms are on the roof.

2006-09-16T22:01:00.000+02:00

Before I start the ever-therapeutic rambling let me just save myself from being sued on the grounds of breach of intellectual property rights by giving full credit to queen_Lestat for exhibiting her genius and thinking up “cartoon heroes.” And speaking of intellectual property rights, I’ve been aimlessly wondering about this module we’re doing. Information Ethics sound like the most boring thing in the world, doesn’t it? It seems unbelievably technical and someone is yet to be able to explain to me what the point of it is. Yes, first there’s data and then information and then knowledge and then wisdom and yes, information has become a commodity and changed the way we research blablabla in recent years but is it really necessary to declare it a science? I mean just think, The anatomy of a blog. What the Hades?

Data Structures and other Such Rubbish

2006-08-04T23:29:00.001+02:00

So today was our first exam opportunity for the Greatly Dreaded Data Structures Module. All in all I have to say it was quite an interesting experience. Watching all your friends stress (try to rebuild the wall of hope of any kind of success which is rapidly crumbling around their ears) while you simply embrace the failure gracefully (throwitcatchitgobbledeegook) definitely makes it for the books… or at least a blog then. After several conversations which involved the remaining Cartoon Hero (who will henceforth be referred to as “The Remaining Cartoon Hero Whose Name Shan’t Be Mentioned”) describing the GDDSM (inter alia) a “void”, “black abyss of nothingness” and “the ultimate vacuum,” I think I’ll be glad to call failing such a failable thing a fine art form. I mean, I could marvel for hours about the fact that we spend more money printing pages we will never look at twice (because of course the GDDSM exam is open-book by the great grace of the GDDSM Powers that Be, sometimes called the course coordinators) and a text book we can’t understand than I ever spent on anything I actually wanted. It must be said that this was highlighted in the clearest possible light (as is usually done when such situations come to be and I try my hardest to suppress the thought) by Her Respected Legendary Cynic of Noteness.

What is that? That frighteningly sharp clarity that comes with the promise of impending doom? Here it is. My life can go one of two ways from here. Surrender to the black abyss of nothingness or change my degree to BCom human resources. Surely it is the answer to every question that sounds like, “What now?” and I’ll simply die before even thinking about contemplating considering Informatics. Rehab for CS students much? No thanks.

So here we are. The GDDSM PtB are out to get us and there’s nowhere to run to. So I’ll sit right here, carry on telling myself its art and brace myself for another 3 years or so doing this module. Who ever thought art could you make you feel so cold eh?

Aah yes, the cold. It’s cold.

The Utter Lack of Profound Things

2006-08-02T20:29:00.000+02:00

A friend of mine, a legendary cynic of note, recently used the expression, "perambulating along the outskirts of verbosity," in connection to a particularly embarrassing magazine article we read together. (This of course had nothing to do with the fact that our feelings toward the writer are decidedly negative...) Anyway, it made me wonder about using big fancy words and whether being truly articulate means conveying exactly what you feel in the simplest possible way. I'm reminded briefly of Kevin Spacey's voice in American Beauty:

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me ... but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst ...And then I remember ... to relax, and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Don't worry ... you will someday."

The thoughts are sometimes too much to conceive of all at once. Writing them down helps but I remember JK Rowling once describing the sensation as trying to contain flowing water in your cupped hands.

My elder sister, a wise, sage-like nobility of our Time, calls it stream of consciousness. I, of course, don't understand the concept the way it probably should be understood, but being a self-proclaimed /*presumptuous*/ programmer whose mind has been mercilessly addled by violent and disturbing pc games and TV shows can probably be stated as the reason I have made my own ridiculous interpretation of it. I'm writing and writing /*or typing and typing*/ and the gaarrbage that appears on the page /*or the screen*/ is just as it was in my head, only with a clear kind of structure (meant only for me, of course). So contrary to popular belief, I'm not being intoxicated by the exuberance of my own verbosity, even though I may be rambling on incoherently. I'm just getting high on my own consciousness. Does that make any sense? I'm a bad writer. But it's enjoyable for me because when I read the gaarrbage later, I'm all high on it and feeling richly dramatic and maybe even substantial. Whatever…I suppose I could be wrong, but I believe it's healthy to write. No matter how bad you are at it. That way, when someone asks you a question, for the most part, at least you'll be able to maggaj {maggaj - a word formulated by delirious people to describe what a 2nd year computer science student writes in an exam which dares contemplating asking her to write out two pages of C++ code without a compiler /*but a pen, instead; WHAT IS THAT?!?*/}

So you see, even if it is in a morbid, melancholic kind of way, as long as you can express yourself, be it verbosely, or so that you are the only person that will ever understand it, there’ll always be beauty in the world. At least we’ll be feeding our own egos.

I think this post was just a warning in case you wanted to read more later on.